yet,..

ryetherabbi

i love him.. so much.. much more than this world can offer. yet, im too insecure. insecure of the people around him, the things that he does, insecure of myself, scaring myself, tellin myself things i dont want to think about. i am so scared. can anyone help me? i dont want to lose my life. im trying so hard to let go of these fears that seems to stay here with me, within me.. i love him.. so much.. much more.. i know i make mistakes, i know im not perfect, and i really dont know what to say when i dont feel good about things that it justs blurts out..(or something like that).. it seems like even if how much i try to hde things, i can help it.. i want to be careful with my words.. i love him.. so much.. much more... i can stay beside him for the rest of my life, ill try to manage the things so that i'll have time for me, and that e'll have to for me.. even if i dont have that much, i'll give everything i have just so that i can see him, to touch him, to feel his soft lips and hold his hands and be caught by his strong arms.. i love him.. so much.. much more.. what ever happens to me, i know i'm sure that i gave him my all.. and maybe it would be my fault to expect things.. expect the things i should expect from someone.. i read this thing from some waiting shed! ahehehe forced kindness doesnt need to be appreciated, or something like that.. i really dont now the right words, but hell no! ahehehe awnyways, i am terribly sorry if i have to post this.. and im terribly sorry if i've done a lot of things and said words that,.. uhmmm how do i say this? like.. i know its wrong to say i didnt mean them but i was jsutcarried out by my emotions by that time, alone, by myself.. and being envious.. i am deeply sorry....

i love him.. so much.. much more...