for you..

imsorry if it hasto end this way, im going to miss everything that we've been through. the arguements that we had, the way we used to hangout, the way we would tease each other and laugh, the times we used to cry for each other.. im going to miss them.. here's the thing, i'm tired. i dont wantt o be anything like some kind of "panakip-butas" or anything. im afraid i might not be there when you need me not because i dont want to but because im not the one that you need.

to everyone, please dont think of him as the antagonist in my life.. your are not the antagonist in this story that seems to be so confusing in my part, in our part. instead, i want to thank you for teaching me, for letting me feel the wonders of life. right now, its seems that the "butterflies in my tummy" has turned to maggots, to somethings that has crushing my heart, it seems hard to breathe. it seems to be so difficult to know what is and what is not. what i need and what to do.. although people will say im stupid or anything, its not what your thinking. hey, im doing this for myself. i have to save myself. i have to gain the respect that i lost, i have to stop abusing myself.
i just hope that you would be happy with whatever will happen to your life, a life away from me. i hope noone would be able to hurt you, i hope you'd realize your responsibilities and grow up. i hope that someone would be able to know and understand you, those moodswings and stuff..

i feel like shit right now, i still do love you, but it seems that i dont love myself anymore. i have to find things for myself. im sorry for the humiliation, the pain that you felt, its cant be compared tot he pain that i felt. we cant compare things, we cant relate to each otehr as of now. we are in different situations.. i have no one to run to.. although ni have friends, its goin to be different..

things are going to be different. i lost everything that i put my mind and heart to..
i am the meanest person i know right now..

goodbye isnt even the word for this..